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Puppies are jerks. Dogs are awesome.

Puppies tend to be stubborn and self concerned often trusting their own instincts above the guidance of their guardians. In other words: puppies are jerks.

Today we’re gonna… today we’re going to discuss a bunch of things that I learned in the last five years raising this dog here. Hey guys! So um this is Holly and she’s five years old now and she’s convinced me to um do things a little bit differently this week and don’t worry! Next time we’ll be back to the usual repairs and fixes and builds and you know, the usual stuff.

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Choose wisely

The first… the first thing it says here – hey! Just let me read it. OK it says here “Don’t choose your puppy based on the way it looks. Choose your puppy based on the breed’s characteristics.”

I chose Holly because she is a cross between two highly intelligent breeds – the Blue Heeler and the Australian Shepherd. One day I’ll make a video showing just how smart she is.

Of course you realize that you are infinitely better qualified to learn his language than he is to learn yours. Look at his eyes. His tail. His general behaviour. Barking, prodding, nudging – these are all signs that he wants something from you.

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I’m against crate training

OK now conventional wisdom says you take your pup from its mother, you lock it in a tiny little cage, you leave him alone all night in a strange place and if he soils the cage he will not forget how awful it was having to sit beside it and so he won’t do it again. So instead I layered up a nice comfee pad where I slept on the floor with Holly for the first three weeks before I was convinced that she was ready to sleep in the big bed. You in that time she only wet the bed once and it was entirely my fault for not understanding that she was licking my face – not because I taste so great but because she was requiring assistance. So because I didn’t understand she wet the foot of my blanket. No big.

Although cute as all get out -puppies are jerks.

Take your dog absolutely everywhere where they are welcome. Expose them to as many people and dogs and other animals and traffic and heavy equipment and boats and even other environments – everything that you can expose them to. The result will be a dog that’s calm in every situation.

Alright it says here “Dogs need dog friends.” That is so true. Isn’t it?

Six times a day

Holly and I walk five to seven kilometres a day seven days a week and it was even more when she was only two to there years old. Remember that your dog needs to get out to do their business in order to avoid business related anxiety. I take Holly out on average six times a day. Twice for an hour or more. Twice for only about fifteen minutes and twice for somewhere in between. When she was a pup I took her out every two hours, day and night. Now the longest she has to wait is about six or seven hours while I sleep. If she needs to she can still come up and lick my face and I’ll take her out no matter what time it is. It’s no big deal.


People often say you need consistency to raise a pup but the fact of the matter is you need to be constantly training that pup. They say you don’t get the dog you want but you get the dog you need.

Puppies are jerks. They'll steal the ball out of your mouth.

Let me try that again. Says here to bath your puppy weekly and your dog monthly. You don’t like that one at all, do you? But that’s OK. That’s why you’re so clean. Yeah. That’s why I let you sleep in my bed.

Puppies hiccuping

It says “Puppies hiccup often.” Do you remember that? Do you remember hiccupping all the time? Yeah I bet you do. So what did we do about it? We rubbed your tummy. Yes we did. We rubbed your tummy and it got rid of the hiccups. Didn’t it?

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Never use corporal punishment on your dog. It just incites dog on dog violence.

Feeding time

Let young puppies eat all the nutritious food they want but be super sparing with the treats. Holly gets four small meals throughout the day as she tends to throw up when her stomach is empty. Once a day I give Holly something I made with ten percent dark green vegetables or berries or a mixture of the two and the rest is delicious, cooked beef, chicken, turkey or pork. Or she gets something nutrient rich like a hundred grams of deep sea fish or some green tripe. Plastic and wooden plates and bowls are much easier on your pup’s front teeth.

Sometimes puppies are jerks. Sometimes not.

Alright thanks for watching and don’t forget to subscribe and if you enjoyed today’s video please remember to share it with your friends – especially the ones who have dogs!

Puppies are jerks

puppies are jerks especially to each other
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